Our Mind is Our Greatest Obstacle

*Our greatest obstacle is ourselves, our minds and how we "talk" to ourselves.*

Some of life's greatest obstacles I have noticed to be affecting people's daily lives as well as mine in previous times: making excuses, loss of sense of self, laziness and lack of control. Everyone has desires, dreams, goals, wishes, wants, needs, the things that drive you to continue living. But I realize by talking to people and just being an observer of life (as well as taking into account the fact that I spent many years living this way) that we don't always pursuit these dreams. We hold ourselves back with our ability to make excuses for not being able to do something. I see this a lot as I interact with people who workout or talk about wanting to but lack the motivation. I don't always have the motivation and yes it could some days be a lot easier to just sit on my butt and not do anything but my solution to this has become to set a time for when I am going to workout and when that time comes, to just go and do it. I think during the day about what I am going to workout, say my legs or upper body, then I try to not think about it again. Although I 90% of the time actually feel motivated because I really enjoy my time to myself when I workout, those days when I lack the motivation I don't try to pep talk myself into it, I just go and do it before I can talk myself out of doing it. This can be applied to just about any aspect of ones' life where they have a sense of fear or thoughts that hold them back from doing what they should/want. Just do it! Unless of course it is something that we can clearly be seen as a "wrong" or danger to ourselves or someone else, then should definitely not pursuit it. But when just speaking about taking that leap towards growing ourselves to be a better or more knowledgeable person, then take that chance, risk, step, whatever it is, before letting yourself talk your way out of it. Which leads me into my next obstacle I find which is losing our sense of self.

What better way to lose our self than to NOT pursue what we should? What better way than to let our fears and worries get in the way of improving our lives? When do you feel that you have lost yourself the most? When you aren't doing what you want because you're doing what you think everyone else wants you to do and you do it because you love them or are scared of feeling guilty for not doing what they want you to do. I am a 'victim' of this (I hate using that word but I'm not sure what else to use at the moment); I can definitely say there have been decisions made in my life that were not what I wanted for myself but were based on my fears of what others will think of me if I do what I want instead of what I think they want. I have an immense sense of empathy for people and this has affected a lot of my decisions. Not wanting to hurt them. But unfortunately my life has been the one to suffer as a result of that because I am the one who lives everyday with the feelings surrounding those decisions which I didn't want to make. Don't do this to yourself. Don't lose yourself to anyone. I am still growing and learning to accept the decisions I have made in my past that affected the way I feel now whenever I think about those things. But I am also at a place in my life where I KNOW and learned from that mistake and no longer (or try my very best) to not let others basically tell me what to do. If there is anything else I've learned so far it is that true love is unconditional; if someone cannot accept you for who you are then maybe they just need to move on with their lives. 

The next challenge of life I want to talk about is laziness. What is laziness? Let me Google that: "the quality of being unwilling to work or use energy". Why do I find that hilarious but also upsetting when I think about how lazy my kids can be sometimes? Why do we allow laziness to control our lives? There are days when we need meaningful rest to recharge ourselves mentally and physically, but can you take a look at your life and say that you are doing 100%? Can you say that you woke up at a decent time? That you got ready for the day? That you ate the best nutrients for your body? That you accomplished what needed to be accomplished? That you did everything that you needed to so that that day wasn't spent sitting around wishing and hoping things would change? Did you take advantage of the day? I hate laziness. I don't know what's happened to me, but I know I've been lazy in my life and now whenever I catch myself sitting still not doing anything I recognize it and I figure out what can be done to not take this moment for granted. I hate complainers. There's a difference between venting and complaining to me. Venting is healthy; complaining is just another way of making excuses and not actually making a change about it. I'm at the point in my life also where if there is something I want to do I will spend minimal time talking about it before I've had enough and need to just make it happen. No matter the struggle or hardship, I just need to figure out the solution.  

Lastly, lack of control. This sort of encompasses all the topics here but I have noticed that a big part of why people are miserable with their lives is because they lack control. Control of daily activities, their jobs, the finances, their family, their home, their minutes and hours which have to be spent doing for others instead of themselves. Unfortunately this is a natural part of life. To generally care for others by doing things that often times you actually do not want to do, like waking up at 5 a.m. to go to that crappy job for that crappy boss. But if you remember what you are doing it for, sometimes it makes it that much better to handle. I would also have to say though that if you hate where you are or what you are doing, then why aren't you changing it? Again, back to the other topics, because its easier to make excuses? Because you've lost yourself after pursuing other people's dreams instead of your own? When you have kids, this can be the best example of losing control of your life. You hardly even control your own emotions at this point, am I right? Especially when they are babies you can't help but second guess everything you do for them, guilt is a big feeling during this time, besides love of course. We lose ourselves and our control over basic daily activities which used to be so easy. This can make us resentful especially if we are doing it alone. Even not having kids but being in a relationship with someone who is quite controlling can make us lose our self. I think the issue of loss of control can be measured differently for each one of us. What we believe to be a grave amount of loss of control compared to just a slight loss. When you're a child you don't have control over much and you try to find little places that you can be in control and growing up and maturing allows for more space of control. So then when children become "adults" at 18 they feel they should have more control, yet they may feel pressure to do as society and their family expects of them so again no control. Its a subject that can be discussed for days. Make changes to the things you have control over, don't make excuses, don't be lazy about it, or else don't talk about it anymore. Accept what you cannot change and change what you can.

*The moment you start to take charge of your destiny, your life, is the moment you will truly see those around you that care and support you.* 

*Things that hold us back from taking the reigns on our own life are, natural occurrences, feelings of guilt, shame, love, empathy, fear and worry. Do not discount, discredit or lose your ability to feel these emotions, just recognize them and make sure the decisions you are making are the ones based on what is best.*

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