I'm Such a Failure - Combat Negative Self Talk
- Juliette Ries
- Jul 24, 2018
- 3 min read
Updated: Dec 20, 2019
"I'm such a failure", these are the words that I hear my inner voice say to myself every time I start to feel depressed about my life.
I preach about self-care and self-growth but that doesn't exclude me from being just as hard on myself as everyone else is on themselves. Unfortunately for some people it is constant and they can't escape the negative self talk.
I can find myself getting a bit mean on myself daily but I can get really bad at least once a month where I just say one thing after another about how nothing is going right; I call myself a failure; I say I have nothing to show for what I've worked so hard for; I tell myself I'm meant to be this loser; I don't deserve x, y, z; I suck, I'm mental, I'm never going to be as good as all the "winners" out there; I'm not good enough, I'm not smart enough, I'm not savvy enough. Yeah you get the idea.
Thankfully, I have taught myself over the years to remember that feelings are not facts and bad times pass and fade away. Yes, when that day comes again, I will want to sit on the couch in my
pajamas and eat all sorts of bad things for me, but that's okay. I know I'm human. But I can give in and wallow in my misery or I can fight it. I know my thoughts are just me being too critical once again. I know that it isn't an accurate representation of myself.
I've worked hard to get to where I am. And that's what I remind myself. I've learned to look at what I do have and not what I don't have. I have learned to appreciate more.
When these negative thoughts pop up randomly I can combat them with my little Angel of Positivity who will have my back and bring me back to reality. I can choose to ignore them and replace them with positive self talk. I can choose to sit and wallow or continue to fight like hell for all the things I want to accomplish with my life.
Our minds can be our own worst enemy or our most powerful asset. It's up to us how we choose to use it.
Continue reading to find out what works for me:
MEDITATE. Meditation was probably one of the greatest things I ever learned how to do. When I learned to quiet my mind, I learned to be present, when I learned to be present I learned to not stress about the future or the unknown. Of course it all takes continuous practice. Just because I learned it doesn't mean I've mastered it. Just because I've learned it doesn't mean these bad things don't happen to me. But they happen a lot less than they ever had in the past.
BREATHE. If you deal with stress and negative self talk on a regular basis, I would highly recommend taking a deep breath. BREATHE. We often times get so consumed with our daily to-do lists that we forget to stop and breathe, literally, a deep, thoughtful breath.
BE PRESENT. Notice your thoughts like an outsider. Stand on the other side of those nasty thoughts and shut them down with positive thoughts.
GRATEFULNESS. If you can't say anything nice about yourself, remind yourself of all the great things you have in your life. Simple things a lot of people would die for, your food, your water, your shelter, your fresh air.
NATURE. Go for a walk. Walking outside away from buildings and vehicles is one of my favorite and most relaxing things to do. Looking up at the sky, the clouds, the moon, the trees, listening to the birds, feeling the grass, dirt, rocks, listening to the sound of water, whatever it is. This is another way of returning to present and being mindful and grateful.
BE DISCIPLINED. A lot of people have asked me how I stay so motivated, it's my discipline. I don't always want to workout but I do it anyways. I don't always want to eat my fruits and veggies, I'd rather eat a bag of candy, but I don't, because I'm disciplined. Those days I want to sit on the couch and watch Netflix all day feeling sorry for myself (I might for an episode or 2 lol), but I don't because I am disciplined. I do things my mind tells me I don't want to but that my heart knows I should. When you start talking sh*t to yourself, stop it and get busy.
Think of everyday as a new day to start fresh!
Let me know if you enjoyed reading this and thank you for your time!
Thanks for reading!!