Why You Don't Get Important S#!t Done
- Juliette Ries
- Aug 31, 2018
- 3 min read
How and why does a person procrastinate?
I read in Mel Robbins book 'The 5 Second Rule' that there is such a thing as a healthy kind of procrastination. This was really liberating to hear for me. As someone who likes to try and do something daily towards my online coaching business or personal growth, I would experience "off days", sometimes weeks, where I didn't have any creative ideas.Like writer's block. This period of getting "nothing" done ended each time with really awesome and new ideas. This was actually a mental break that I needed to allow my brain to not only rest but give it space to create new ideas. When my brain became full of information and seeing other people's ideas, I needed to walk away for a while to find my own.
This is actually called Productive Procrastination. But what I really wanted to talk about was destructive procrastination.
This is the kind that we are most familiar with. We can experience this on a small or grand scale depending on the importance of the task that keeps getting put off.
This is type of destructive procrastination is a form of stress relief. If you are stressed out in your life about something, you will typically put off doing what REALLY needs to be done and watch tv, go out shopping, browse social media, watch hours of Netflix, take a nap, justification of down time and the all time favorite, make excuses just to escape what actually needs to be done.
So think about it. Are you supposed to be doing
something? Is there something you should be working on? Should you be taking better care of yourself? (ALWAYS). How are you spending your time? Most likely you are stressing about something in your life and you are procrastinating getting anything done because you get so overwhelmed by the stress that you just want to escape. So you find wasteful ways to spend your time instead of tackling the important stuff.
You are stressed out. You feel bad about yourself and the way you are procrastinating.
Now forgive yourself. You heard me.
Psychology Today says the first step towards stopping procrastination is to forgive yourself. By forgiving yourself you are giving yourself permission to try again. Otherwise you'll get caught in the cycle of screwing around instead of getting shit done! You will continue to put off, talk bad about yourself because you put off yet again, and then the cycle continues. So forgiveness is a powerful tool.
When I was in my early 20's and self destructing I continued to self destruct because I was so upset with myself for being such a loser. I was stuck in a procrastinating cycle. I finally had to slam on the brakes and decide NO MORE. Only a psychopath does the same thing repeatedly expecting a different outcome. And I wasn't (still not) a psychopath., lol. So I realized I needed to stop my destructive daily habits which weren't serving me or getting me the conclusion I desired and start doing things that were completely new. This was hard, but nothing worth fighting for comes easy. And I was fighting for my life. Change is hard. Change requires not only courage but rewiring your brain to understand that these new habits and actions are what you want to be doing. You take it one day at a time. One step at a time. But you have to do it. You can't just think about something and hope it goes your way, you have to take ACTION.
So quit procrastinating and get it done. Yes it'll be hard. But you'll get what you want in the end. Stop putting off working out. Stop putting off writing that book. Stop putting off that art project.
Stop putting off going back to school. Call your parents. Visit your friend. Make that appointment. It's your stress holding you back from doing it. Determine your stressor and deal with that separately. Don't allow your stressors to make you sit around wasting your life away and wishing of a different life where you actually got s#!t done. Stop thinking. Start doing. And if you can't muster up the strength from within to do it on your own, then do what Mel Robbins teaches in her "5 Second Rule", count backwards like a rocket about to take off, 5-4-3-2-1, the second you start procrastinating and get up and do it.
Psychology Today article on Forgive Yourself to Stop Procrastinating
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/dont-delay/201002/forgive-yourself-stop-procrastinating