Ah the forever intriguing topic for me, "how to live a happy life". I do not make myself suffer trying to answer this question; that would be counter progressive. But I think I know the answer!
The key to happiness is simple: Align yourself with your values and you will be happy...happ-iest!
What do you value in life? What is important to you? What do you lay in bed at night and wish you had accomplished? What ignites your inner fire? What awakens your soul? What can you get into that you can fully immerse yourself and get lost in?
There isn't ever just one thing. We are curious creatures by design (hello! Eve!) and its fun learning new things and when we find those things that bring us joy and we continue to do those things, then we are happy.
Values. What is a priority to you? What do you make time for? What do you wish you made time for? What have you said or done that brought you regret? Don't do that! If you've ever said something to someone and regretted it, then it wasn't aligned with your values. Your true nature is also being loving and being mean, judgmental, spiteful, envious, jealous, are not going to bring you happiness.
If you are unhappy, it's probably because you are not aligning yourself with the things you value.
If you value your health, then you take care of it. If you value your family, then you make time for it. If you value your work, then you dive into it. Picture your values as cups that need filled. Label each cup a value and imagine how full it is right now.
The reality is, we can't just all sit around, eating bon bons, watching Netflix all day and drinking wine. Well, we can but we have responsibilities. Having those responsibilities means that sitting around eating bon bons and watching Netflix isn't exactly possible without sacrificing some important things. So how do you balance that?
Well first of all, sitting and eating candy while vegging out in front of brainless tv doesn't actually sound that joyous to me. That's because it doesn't align with my values. I mean don't get me wrong, I do eat candy and watch Netflix but am I happy about it? Not really. I know candy isn't good for me and sitting on my ass isn't good for me and watching miserable stuff on tv is not good for me, plus it's taking up valuable time that I could be spending doing much more important things that will actually make me happy!
When I workout or go for a walk, I feel happy because I am valuing my health. When I spend time with my kids I am happy because I value my children. I value being in nature and find myself rejuvenated from spending time there. Even when you're doing something you don't want to be doing but you know you have to and its a good thing to do, like a parent teacher conference or a doctor's appointment, you feel good after because you did it (even though you didn't look forward to it).
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So the key to happiness is to align yourself, your actions, with your values. It'll begin with your thought patterns. I know its hard because life sometimes forces your hand or circumstances out of your control happen and that's where you and your beautiful and powerful mind come into play.
You may not always be in control of things that happen to you, but you can control how you react and what you do with it. We all have bad days (weeks, months etc). Bad moods, depression, everything going wrong, breakups, loss, it happens. Find inspiration through your pain.
Look at Taylor Swift, her breakups made her one of the most popular artists of our generation. She helps others through her music and through sharing her stories. Okay Im not even going to go on about Taylor, shes great but what I'm trying to say is that there is something beautiful that can come out of something bad: lessons learned, inspiration, knowing what NOT to do again, whatever it is, its there.
You're not always going to be in a good mood so don't expect happiness to come and stay. Depression is real and I know that some days just putting on pants is a fabulous achievement. But when happiness is there, immerse yourself in it and share it with others so that they can feel it too.
Do what you love. Prioritize your values above all else and you will be happiest. Thank you.
XOXO
Juliette